Ukuqwashiswa komuntu wokubulala ukuthi Ukufa kuseduze
Iziguli eziningi ezibhekana nenqubo yokufa zingase zithole isenzakalo esaziwa ngokuthi "ukusondela kokuqwashisa ukufa". Lona ulwazi olukhethekile ukuthi umuntu ofayo unalolokufa kuseduze. Izikhathi eziningi lokhu kuqwashiswa kunganakiwe ngabathandekayo besiguli kanye nabanikezeli bezempilo futhi bangase baphathe iphutha ngenxa yokungabi nokuphumula kokulahla noma ukuphela . Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi yini ephathelene nokuqwashisa ukufa kungahle kubonakale nokuthi ihluke kanjani ekungeneni kokungabonakali noma kokugcina ukuze ukwazi ukusekela othandekayo wakho ngendlela engcono kakhulu.
Ukuqwashisa Ukufa
Abahlengikazi be-Hospice Maggie Callanan noPatricia Kelley baphayona umqondo wokusondeza ukuqwashisa ukufa ngenxa yomsebenzi wabo wokunakekela abafayo. Babona izibonakaliso ukuthi iziguli zazi ukuthi kukhona okwenzeka kuzo - ukuthi ngandlela-thile bazi ukuthi ukufa kwasekuseduze, nakuba bengenakukwazi ukuyichaza ngokwemibono yethu eminingi. Babhala ngalolu lwazi olukhethekile ezincwadini zabo ezihambayo Izipho Zokugcina .
Njengoba isiguli sihamba ngenqubo yokufa, angase enze izitatimende noma izenzo ezingabonakali ukuthi zenza umqondo. Abanye bangambiza ngokuthi "uyajabulisa," "ukulahlekelwa ingqondo yakhe," noma "ukucabangela." Imithi inganikezwa ukuphatha lokho odokotela abathile noma abahlengikazi bacabanga ukuthi i-delirium. Umndeni nabangani bangase bazame ukusiza ngo "baby ukukhuluma" ukumncenga noma ngokuzama ukumisa kabusha "ngokoqobo" futhi ukwehlisa lokho akushoyo.
Ukulungiselela Uhambo
Abanye abantu abafayo bakhuluma ngokulungiselela uhambo noma ukulungele ukuhamba.
Ezipholweni Zokugcina , abalobi basitshela indaba kaLaura owayenezinguquko ngokuzumayo ekuziphatheni kwakhe okhathazeka umyeni wakhe. Wayeselahlekelwe indodakazi, uSusan, eminyakeni eyedlule futhi manje wayezofa. Umyeni wakhe, ukhathazekile ngokubukeka kwakhe kude nokukhuluma "okudidekile", okuthiwa umhlengikazi we-hospice . Lapho efika, wabuza uLaura, "Kwenzekani kuwe, Laura?
Kade ukuphi?"
"Isikhathi sokungena emgqeni," kusho uLaura.
Ngitshele kabanzi mayelana nomugqa, "umhlengikazi coaxed." Ingabe ukhona omunye owaziyo? "
"USusan usemgqeni," kusho uLaura, ehleka ngokumomotheka, kodwa eqhubeka ebuka isikhala.
Baqhubeka bekhuluma ngo "umugqa" futhi uLaura wabelane ngokuthi umyeni wakhe akakwazanga ukuhamba naye. Wayelungiselela ukuhamba noJoe futhi aphinde ahlangane noSusan. Yini eyayihlwithwa ngokuthi "ukudideka" ukuziphatha kwaba empeleni indlela kaLaura yokutshela umyeni wakhe ukuthi ulungiselela ukufa?
Indaba kaJoseph
Isibonelo engangihlangabezane nayo emzimbeni wami kwakuyisiguli ogama lakhe linguJose *. UJose waba nendoda eneminyaka engu-45 ubudala efa ngenxa yokuhluleka kwezinso , ukuhlukunyezwa kwesifo sikashukela esingalawuleki. Ngesikhathi ngivakashele uJoseph ukuba ammise esibhedlela, wangibuza ukuthi ngingathola yini i-tuxedo yakhe futhi ngimgqoke. Umndeni wakhe wangitshela ukuthi, "Ungakhathazeki ngalokhu, ubelokhu esicela ukuthi sikwenze lokho usuku lonke.
Ngabuza uJoseph ukuthi udinga yini i-tuxedo yakhe. "Uhlela ukuya endaweni ethile ekhethekile, uJoseph?" UJoseph waphendula wathi, "Yebo, ngidinga i-tuxedo yami. Isikhathi sokuhamba futhi ngifuna ukubheka okuhle kakhulu. Izikhwama zami zigcwele futhi ngidinga nje i-tuxedo yami."
Ngemva kwamahora ambalwa, uJoseph wafa. Wayelungiselela "uhambo" lwakhe ekufeni futhi wayefuna ukubheka okuhle kakhulu.
Lokho umndeni wakhe ayekucabanga ukuthi ukudideka empeleni kwakuyinto ekhethekile kakhulu.
Izipho Zokugcina
Ezipholweni Zokugcina abalobi nabo babhala:
"Ngokugcina izingqondo ezivulekile nangokulalela ngokucophelela abantu abafayo, singaqala ukuqonda imilayezo abayibonisa ngesibonakaliso noma ukusikisela. Ngokuvamile singakwazi ukwazisa ulwazi olubalulekile futhi ekuhlukaniseni ukukhulula ukukhathazeka komuntu nokufa kwakhe. Ngakho-ke iqhaza ngokugcwele ezenzakalweni zokufa, imindeni nabangane bangathola induduzo kanye nolwazi olubalulekile ngalokho okuhlangenwe nakho kokufa kufana nokuthi yini edingekayo ukuze kuzuzwe ukufa okunokuthula. "
Ngokukhuluma noma izenzo, umuntu oshona angase azame ukusitshela izidingo zabo, izifiso zabo, noma izifiso zokufa okuthula. Kungenzeka ukuthi babelungiselela abathandekayo babo umcimbi abangakwazi ukuwachaza ngokugcwele. Kubalulekile ukulalela ngokucophelela lokho okuthandayo okushona okusho ukuthi ungaphuthelwa into ebalulekile futhi ekhethekile.
Ukubona Abantu Nezindawo
"Ukuqaphela Ukufa Kokuvame ukuhlanganisa imibono yabathandekayo noma izidalwa ezingokomoya, nakuba kungabonakali ukuthi kuseduze ukufa." Izipho Zokugcina
Lokhu kwenzeka okujwayelekile. Imindeni eminingi iye yabelana nami ukuthi othandekayo wabo oshonile wakhuluma ngokubona izihlobo ezifile noma izingelosi ekamelweni labo. Lezi "mibono" ngezinye izikhathi zihlwithwa njenge "ukucabangela" kepha kungase kube uphawu oluphawulekayo lokuthi ukufa kusondela.
Ukubona "izulu" noma "indawo enhle" yilezi ezinye izigameko ezinye iziguli ezifayo ezitholakele, ngisho nalabo abangekho "abangokwenkolo" abanjalo. Abanye bangabika ukuthi bashiye umzimba wabo futhi bahamba kwenye indawo, abanye bakhuluma ngokubona enye indawo noma "nje ukukhanya".
Ukwazi Lapho Kuzofika Ukufa
Angisoze ngikhohlwa i-Sue *. Ngivumile uSue ekliniki yama-5 e-hospice ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwakhe kwe-87. Wayenezifo zokuphefumula , wayephefumula kakhulu, futhi wayengabonakali kimi njengokungathi wayekade ehlala isikhathi eside. Lapho eqonda lokho ayekwazi ngakho ngokugula kwakhe, ngambuza ukuthi wayecabanga ukuthi kwenzekani kuye.
"Ngiyafa," waphendula ngokusobala.
Ingabe unomqondo wokuthi ushiye isikhathi eside kangakanani ukuhlala? "Ngabuza.
"O, ngiyazi kahle ukuthi ngizofa nini - ngosuku lwami lokuzalwa lwama-87. Kuphela amasonto ambalwa nje."
Ngikhumbula ngizizwa ngimdabukile ngoba ngangingacabangi ukuthi uzophila isikhathi eside isikhathi esisodwa noma amasonto amabili. Sue wamangala ngokuphila isikhathi eside kunalokho engangikulindele futhi wafa ekuseni amahora okuzalwa kwakhe.
"Ukubulala abantu kubonakala sengathi bazi ukuthi ukufa kwabo kuzokwenzeka nini, ngezinye izikhathi kuze kube yilolu suku noma ihora. Ngokumangazayo, bavame ukubhekana nalolu lwazi hhayi ngokwesaba noma ngokwesaba, kodwa kunokuba basule emsebenzini." Izipho Zokugcina
Qaphela Ngakho Ungaphutheli
Uma kubonakala sengathi othandekayo wakho usebenza ngendlela ehlukile noma ebonakala edidekile enkulumweni nasezenzo zabo, ungayisaphuli ngokushesha njengoba imithi ikhuluma noma isifo esibangela ukudideka. Zombili lezi zimo zingenzeka, kodwa uma uthatha isikhathi sokulalela futhi uzama ukuthola lokho okushiwo othandekayo wakho, ungase uthole ukuthi kukhona into eyenzekayo ngokuphelele. Kodwa-ke, qaphela njalo umhlengikazi wakho wokubeletha kulolu shintsho olusha ukuze kuhlolwe kahle.
* Amagama ashintshelwe ubumfihlo.