Uma wena noma umlingani wakho ubhekana nokukhubazeka okuhlobene nesimo se-Erectile (ED) esingenasikhathi sinye noma esingenaso incazelo yezokwelapha, kungasiza kakhulu ukuqonda ngokujulile okungahle kwenzeke. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi inketho engeyona yezokwelapha izosebenzela i-ED yakho kulolu hlu lwezixazululo ezikhona (uma umthombo wezinkinga zakho empeleni kungokwengqondo). Njengoba ubulili nobuhlobo beqeqesha, sisiza amadoda ukuthi abhekane no-ED kwengqondo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Impendulo yale mibuzo emihlanu ingahle ikusize ukuthi ungene ekuthinteni nokuvuselela okunamandla, okuhlala njalo.
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Ingabe Ukhona Ekhanda Lakho?Esinye sezimbangela eziphambili ze-psychological ED sinomcimbi owodwa we-ED noma izigameko ezimbalwa bese uthola ukhathazeka ngempela futhi ukhathazekile ukuze ugcine umjikelezo okhukhumezekile wengqondo. Njalo lapho ukuxhumana ngokocansi kuqala ukuya ocansini, uqala ukukhathazeka ngokuthi ngeke usebenze kanzima. Lokhu ukucindezeleka kwenza umzimba wakho ube yindlela yokwesaba engaphezu kwemodi evuswe futhi i-ED yakho egcina ibe yisiprofetho esizigcwalisayo.
Ukuze uphume ekhanda lakho, udinga ukuqala ukugxila ezintweni ezijabulisayo (touch, iphunga, imisindo) ohlangene nalo mzuzu wanamuhla bese uyeka "ukuthi uma ngabe" ukukwehlisa . Enye indlela ewusizo kakhulu yokuphuma ekhanda lakho ukuphefumula okukhulu okusiza ekunciphiseni ukukhathazeka. Okulandelayo, ungacabanga ukuthi umoya ngamunye owenzayo ukuxhuma wena ngokuthinta okujabulisayo owenzayo nokuwuthola kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kufanele kukusize ukwenze ucindezeleke kakhulu kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho futhi ungakhathazeki kakhulu noma uphazanyiswe.
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Ingabe Ubamba Emuva?Amadoda amaningi ahlukunyezwa yi-ED akhathazeke kakhulu ngomlingani wakhe nokuthi yini umlingani wabo abacabanga ngayo ukuthi ayinaki yonke imifiso yabo yemvelo yesifiso. Lokhu ukuphika kwemizwa yakho engokwemvelo kungabangela ukuphazanyiswa okuqhubekayo kwindondo yakho yokuvusa ukwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuthola noma ukugcina ukulungiswa. Uma ufuna umzimba wakho uphendule njengoba kungokwemvelo kufanele, landela izifiso zakho zesifiso. Umlingani wakho uzokubonga ngoba lokho akufunayo ngempela kuwe ukuthi uzizwe ufisa!
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Ingabe Unomhlobo Wobulili Okuvukelayo?Imibhangqwana eminingi inesondo ngokobulili ngendlela ecabanga ngayo ukuthi kufanele ibe yiyo noma icabanga ukuthi umlingani wayo ufuna ukuba khona ngaphandle kokuhlola nokuxoxa ngemicabango yabo. Ukuze ucansi lushise ngokwanele ukuba ube nzima, okunye okusembusweni wakho wefantasy kudinga ukubonakala ekamelweni lakho. Esikhundleni sokuphila impilo eyodwa lapho ubeke khona lokho okufunayo ekusesheni kwakho kocansi bese ulala ocansini okwenzelanga wena nomlingani wakho, sekuyisikhathi sokuqala ukuletha imibono engcolile kumlingani wakho ukuze ukwazi ukuyidlala noma ucabange ngabo ngabo ndawonye!
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Ingabe Ukhanga Ngomngane Wakho?Amanye amadoda azama ukukhuluma ngokwayo; bacabanga, "Uyashisa" esikhundleni sokuzibuza ukuthi "Ngikhangwa yini kuye?" Ubuhle obungaphandle abukhathanisi amandla angaphakathi okukhipha amandla futhi akuvamile ukuba nokwakha imithi yangempela noma isifiso socansi. Uma uzama ukuya ocansini nomuntu ongezwa ngempela imithi, sekuyisikhathi sokubhekana ngqo nale ndaba ngqo.
Uma ungaphandle kwezwe lokuthandana, kuzodingeka uqaphele ukuthi umzimba wakho usabela kanjani ngokwemvelo kumlingani ongase ayenze ngokuphambene nokuzama ukunquma ngekhanda lakho. Uma unomlingani ohlala isikhathi eside, kuzodingeka ukhulume ngalokho okuqale ukuguqula ngaye noma ukukhuluma ngokuthi yini engakuvula ngaphezulu. Ngokwethembeka nokufunda izindlela ezintsha zokusebenzisana ngokocansi, ungakwazi ukuthola imililo evuthayo noma ukubuyisela imakhemikhali!
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Ingabe Umngane Wakho Omnandi Ungakujabulela?Sitshela njalo amadoda; "Ngezinye izikhathi ipeni lakho lihlakaniphile kunakho. "Uma uzama ukuya ocansini nomuntu obaluleke kakhulu kuwe, akuxosha, akunika ama-ultimatum noma uthukuthele noma kunini lapho ungahlali khona, akumangalisi ukuthi unenkinga yokuthola ukulungiswa. Ochwepheshe bezokwelapha babhekisela ekukhulumeni okungalungile njengesinye sezizathu ze-ED. Isikhathi sokufunda ezinye izincwadi noma uthole usizo lochwepheshe njengombhangqwana ukuze ukhulume kangcono nemizwa yakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungathanda ukuthinteka kanjani ukuhlukunyezwa noma ukugxekwa futhi uvele uyithole , sekuyisikhathi sokunaka ipeni lakho futhi uqinisekise ukuthi uphathwa ngomusa nozwela!
Ochwepheshe bezocansi uCeleste Hirschman, MA & Danielle Harel, Ph.D. (www.celesteanddanielle.com) basebenze nezinkulungwane zamakhasimende ezisiza ukuba baqaphele amandla abo okulala ngokobulili nangokomzwelo. Bangabalobi futhi sebevele bakhululwe incwadi entsha emibhangqwaneni, kanye nezihloko eziningi zokushicilela kusukela ku-Men's Health kuze ku-The Huffington Post. Kule minyaka eyishumi edlule, baye bafaka izizinda zabo zemfundo ku-Psychology, ne-Sexology ngezandla zabo ekuhlangenwe nakho ukudala ulwazi lwe-Somatica® lwe-Experiences of therapy yezocansi kanye nobuhlobo boqeqesho kanye nokuqeqeshwa kwabaqeqeshi ensimini.