Ukucindezeleka okukhulu okubangelwa ukutholakala nesimo somlenze , ikakhulukazi uma lokhu kwenzeka eminyakeni ekhulile, ukwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nesimo esiphakeme sokukhathazeka okulandela ukubikezelwa okungalindelekile.
Uma wena noma othandekayo uhlangabezana nalolu shintsho olukhulu empilweni yakho, ekubeni ubonwe ngokugcwele ukuze uphuphutheke kancane kancane (mhlawumbe kancane kancane noma ngokuzumayo), ungase uthole futhi ucindezelekile ukuhlanganyela imizwa yakho nemicabango yangempela.
Akumangazi ukuthi ukubhekana nokucindezeleka okuqhubekayo emisebenzini ejwayelekile yansuku zonke kungalimaza empilweni yethu, ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo nangokomoya. Ithemba lokulahlekelwa ikhono lomuntu lokubona lingaba yinto eyesabekayo. Abanye abantu bangase bazizwe becindezelekile ngokwazi ukuthi ukubona kwabo akukaze kube okufanayo (noma ukuthi kufanele basekele umuntu kuleso simo) ukuthi abakwazi ngisho nokufaka amagama ngendlela abazizwa ngayo, bengaboni ukwabelana ngemizwa nabo uthando.
Ngandlela-thile, kufana nokuba nengozi engokomzwelo ohambweni lokuphila abangaboni ngempela ukuza. Umuntu uzizwa elimazekile noma ezwakala ubuhlungu, futhi ukulimala kudlulela ngaphakathi ngaphakathi, ukuphonsa imicabango yabo ibe yingxabano.
Uma kunjalo kuwe, cabangela i-antidote eyodwa enganciphisa ukukhathazeka kwakho futhi ikusize ukuphatha ukukhathazeka okwesikhashana-ngokuhambisa imicabango yakho. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi ukubhala ngokucacile.
Ukubhala Okucacile
Ukubhala ngokucacile, noma i-journaling, kuyindlela yokurekhoda imicabango yakho ukusiza ukukhulula ukukhathazeka.
Iyindlela yokulawula ukucindezeleka ngokuveza ngokukhululekile iphephabhuku elizimele (noma ngesandla noma elifakwe efayeleni lekhompyutha) elikuvumela ukuba uhlasele ngokuthanda.
Abanye abantu bakubiza ngokuthi ukubhala okwelashwa ngoba 'umlobi' unokukwazi ukungena emicabangweni ejulile engasiza ekutholeni ukwesaba nokuzizwa kwabo kwangempela.
Kungani lokhu kubalulekile? NgokukaDkt. James W. Pennebaker (i-Regents Centennial Professor of Liberal Arts eYunivesithi yaseTexas, e-Austin), owaziwa ngokucwaninga kwakhe okubanzi ngezinzuzo zezempilo zokubhala ngokucophelela, ukuze asize abantu bazuze inzuzo kakhulu ukubhala mayelana nezinkinga zabo zokuphila, kuyasiza ukuthi uqale uqaphele izici ezimbi futhi ubhekane nazo ukuze bakwazi ukuhamba ngendlela engcono kakhulu yengqondo.
UDkt. Pennebaker wenza uchungechunge lwezivivinyo lapho abantu bebuzwa khona ukuba babhale ngokukhululekile imizuzu eyishumi neshumi kuya kwemibili ngosuku ngosuku lwezinsuku ezine bezindla ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kokuhlukunyezwa. "Uma kuqhathaniswa nabantu abatshelwa ukuba babhale ngezihloko ezingezona ezingokomzwelo, labo abaloba mayelana nokuhlukumezeka babonisa ukuthuthukiswa kwezempilo ngokomzimba. Izifundo zamuva zathola ukuthi ukubhala ngokomzwelo kwandisa amandla omzimba, kwaletha amaconsi e-blood pressure, futhi kwancipha imizwa yokucindezeleka kanye nemizwelo ephakeme yansuku zonke. "
Ukusebenzisa ukubhala ngokucacile njengethuluzi lokuthuthukisa impilo yethu kuye kwaholela ekufundeni okufanayo emhlabeni jikelele. Njengoba uPennebaker wabhala encwadini yakhe ethi The Secret Life of Pronouns: Lokho Amazwi Athu Asho Ngathi, "Nakuba imiphumela ngokuvamile ilula, isenzo nje sokuhumusha ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo sibe ngamazwi sihambisana nokuthuthukiswa empilweni yengqondo nangokwengqondo."
Ukubhala Okumangalisayo Ukuthola Impilo
Kunezinzuzo eziningi zokuzindla nokubhala. Labo abakwazi ukuhlala bethule futhi bahlale bethembekile ngokwabo ekucabangeni isimo esibucayi kanye nokubhala imicabango yabo njengombukeli banamathuba amaningi okuzwa ngokomzwelo ngokudabula ubuhlungu ngale ndlela.
Ukuvuma ukuthi ukhona ukwesaba akuhloswanga ukwenza lowo muntu aziphindise kaningi kodwa ukuletha umuzwa wokukhululeka ngisho nokuthola incazelo kunento ebonakala ingenakulinganiswa.
Ngokushesha nje, sazama ukubhala ngokucacile ngenkathi sibhekene nesimo esinzima. Sithulisela ukwesaba kwethu kwifayili yekhompyutha (sisebenzisa isofthiwe yezipumputhe), kuchaza imicabango emnyama neyikuthi ayinamandla yokuthi konke okungenathemba.
Sasiqaphela ukukhathazeka kwemicabango yami futhi sababuza. Ngokushesha nje ekusebenziseni ukubhala, sithole ukuthi ukugxila kwami kuhanjiswe kulowo owayefuna ukuthola izixazululo ezicacile.
Kwakufana nokwelapha. 'Sasizikhulumela thina' futhi leyo ngxenye yangaphakathi nehlakaniphile yaqala ukunikeza izixazululo zekhonkrithi esazi ukuthi singase sizame ngesikhathi esizayo ukwesaba kusongela ukubamba futhi. Sashintsha indlela yethu yokucabanga, sisebenzisa indlela ehlukile futhi isimo sashintsha ngendlela enhle. Sifunde ukuthi ukuzindla nokuzicabangela ngokwakho kufana nokuhamba ngomqondo ukuthuthukisa umuzwa wenhlalakahle.
Cabanga ngalezi ezinye izinzuzo zokubhala okucacile okunga:
- Nciphisa ukukhathazeka kokuxilongwa ngokulawula ukucindezeleka kwansuku zonke
- Qinisekisa ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo ngokuzwa ubuhlungu bese uchaza ngendlela ebuhlungu kakhulu
- Hlanganisa ingqondo ukukhulula imicabango emibi nokuthuthukisa ukuzethemba
- Veza intukuthelo ngokuphepha
- Cabanga ngeminye imibono ukudala uhlelo lokusebenza
- Khulula mahhala ukuzwa umthwalo kwabanye
- Thola ukuqonda okusiza ukucindezela ukuzwa unqabile
- Hlela umkhuba wansuku zonke wokuzinakekela
- Ukuvuselela imizwa yethemba lokuza nokuthula nokukhubazeka
Ubuhle bokusebenzisa ukubhala ngokucacile njengethuluzi lempilo ukuthi akudingeki ube umlobi omuhle ngoba akekho odingayo ukufunda umsebenzi wakho.
Indlela yokubika, eyakhiwe yiDkt. Ira Progoff futhi isetshenziswe emhlabeni jikelele, ebizwa ngokuthi i-Intensive Journal Method iqondiswe ngokuqondile ukusiza abantu ukuba bahlele umhlaba wabo wangaphakathi ukuba baqhubeke esimweni sabo samanje.
UDkt. Progoff uthe inzuzo enkulu enkulu yokufaka amagama encwadini (njengencwadi encwadini ayisebenzisayo) kusiza abantu ukuba "bazuze umbono esikhathini esiyinhloko sokuphila kwabo ukuze bakwazi ukugxila esimweni sabo samanje sokuphila ukuze baphendule umbuzo othi, 'Ngingaphi manje ekuhambeni kokuphila kwami?' Ngalolu hlelo, bangakwazi ukubona amandla amaphakathi, amathuba amasha, futhi bathole izinsiza kanye namathalenta ngaphakathi kwabo. "
Ngokuthola le ngxoxo yangaphakathi ngokwakho, i-Progoff iphakamisa ukuthi "indlela isiza abantu ukuthi bathole isibambiso ezicini eziningi ezingenakuqhathaniswa neziyinselele zokuphila." Ngokuthatha isikhathi sokucubungula lokho esikuzwayo esigabeni sokuphila esibuhlungu, sakha iphephile indawo okumele ihambe ngayo isikhashana.
5 Izinyathelo Zokubhala Okumangalisayo
Uma ufuna ukuthola ukucaca okucacile empilweni yakho yokuphila kwamanje, nansi izinyathelo ezingu-5 zokuqala amakhasi akho wokubhala (usebenzisa i-notebook enkulu noma udala ifayela kukhompyutha yakho). Okokuqala, khetha isikhala esithulile lapho ungaphazamiseki khona okungenani imizuzu engamashumi amabili.
Qala lapho ukhona manje. Qopha imizwa nemicabango yakho mayelana nesimo sakho samanje - njengokuba uvulekile futhi uthembekile ngangokunokwenzeka. Akufani nanoma ubani ozofunda iphephandaba lakho, ngakho-ke diyela ngqo ekubhaleni. Ungesabi ukuletha konke ukwesaba kwakho, imicabango yakho 'engenasidingo' - konke lokhu kusebenza. Isihluthulelo ukuveza izwe lakho langaphakathi ngaphandle kokubeka isahlulelo kulokho okubhalayo. Zibuze:
- Yini engesaba kakhulu kule simo esisha?
- Nginomuzwa wokuthi angikwazi ukwabelana nanoma ubani okwamanje?
Faka phansi noma yini; imicabango ejulile, ukungabaza, ukungaboni kahle, ukungaboni kahle, noma izingcezu zokwesaba njengoba zikhula. Imicabango emnyama ingaba lula ukubheja uma ivuliwe futhi iboniswa ephepheni. Inqubo ingasiza futhi ukulala ngokukhulula ingqondo yakho ngesaba.
Ungabe uhlela inqubo yakho yokucabanga. Ukubhala njengendlela yokwelashwa isebenza kangcono uma ungazami ukufeza ukubhala kwakho. Kungokuvumela ukuba uphulukise futhi uthuthuke kunokuba ube ophelele esimeni sakho njengamanje. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungase ufune izinsizakalo zokuvuselela ukusiza ekubhekaneni nesimo sakho esisha kodwa manje, ekushaleni kwesibindi esesabekayo, nje ubhale ngokungagwegwesi ukuze uthintane nemizwa yangempela.
Khumbula ukuthi ukubhala kungumngane wakho omkhulu. Cabanga ngokudlulisela inhliziyo yakho kumngane omuhle - ovele nje abe nguwe. Umngane okhona ukulalela, ukukuvumela ukuthi uveze indlela ozizwa ngayo ngempela nomngane okhathalela ngempela inhlalakahle yakho.
Ngokubhala phansi imicabango yakho, ulalelisisa ngokugcwele imizwa yomqondo nengqondo. Njengokuthi ukhuluma nomngane othandekayo othandekayo, ungavula ngaphezulu. Zikhona yini ezinye imibuzo angazibuza? Uma kunjalo, phendula lezi bese ubhala ngaphandle kokuhlela.
Ngamafuphi, zama ukubhala iseluleko 'umngane wakho omkhulu' anganikeza kule simo.
Hlela kabusha imicabango yakho ngelinye ilanga ngesikhathi. Ukuhamba okuyimpumputhe kukhona isipiliyoni esishintsha ukuphila. Ayikho indlela engalungile noma enhle yokusingatha le nselele yokuphila kodwa, kunezindlela eziqondile zokusiza ukuthuthuka. Ngalezo zinsuku uma uzizwa ungena ndawo noma ngisho emuva, zama ukuhlela kabusha isimo. Bhala encwadini yakho izinto ezingu-5 ongayibonga ngazo. Yebo, lokhu kuyinselele futhi.
Kodwa, ekukhohliseni izingqondo zethu ukubheka into enengqondo enhle uma uzizwa uphelelwe ithemba, uqala ukushintsha njengokuguqula inkinobho. Kunzima ukuhlala ususizi noma uthukuthele ngesikhathi esifanayo njengokuphoqelela ukuba nomusa nokuzola.
Uma ubhekana nokulahlekelwa umbono wakho, ungase uphinde ulahlekelwe yizinto zonke ezinhle ekuphileni kwakho. Ukugcina 'iphepha lokubonga' noma ukwenza i-journal yakho ebhaliwe yokubhala kuyindlela yokuqaphela izinto ezinhle ongase uzikhohlwe ngazo ngaphansi kwezimo ezinzima ezinjalo.
Bhala impumelelo yakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bangabonakala buncane kangakanani: ukuqonda okucabangelayo, ukuzibophezela ekuthuthukisweni, ukuzimisela ukuzama futhi, noma noma yini ozizwayo ukuthi yimpumelelo kuwe konke kufanelekile. Ngokuveza into enhle, uqala ukuvuselela isithombe sokuphila kwakho ngokukhanya okukhanyayo.
Setha isikhathi sokubhala esivamile. Nansi okuyisisekelo sendlela: ukuze uzuze izinzuzo zokubhala ngokucacile, kuzodingeka uzibophezele ukubhala njalo. Okungenani uzinikele usuku ngalunye okungenani amasonto amathathu ukuze ubone ukuthi leli fomu lokuzinakekela likusebenzela ngempela yini.
Emagameni kaDkt. Pennebaker, "Uma sibhekana ne-ADVERSITY, sisabela ngokucabanga ngakho. Imicabango yethu ihambela izinkolelo ngokushesha. Lezi zinkolelo zingase zibe yinto evamile kakhulu futhi asiqapheli ukuthi sinakho ngaphandle kokuba siyeke ukugxila kubo. "
Ngokwenza ukuzibophezela kokuvumela ukuhamba kwemicabango yakho engahleliwe ukuze ubonakalise futhi uvuselele, uvula iwindi lezikhathi eziqondayo ezingavuselela futhi zikhulise impilo yakho engokomzwelo. Ukuhlala phezu kwemizwelo yakho kuyoba yisisusa esikuvuselela amandla nesibindi, kanye nokugxila ekuhleleni isinyathelo sakho esilandelayo. Thepha ku-self yakho ecacile futhi ungase umangale ukuthi impilo yakho entsha enokukhubazeka okubukwayo ilinde ukukusiza kuzo zonke izindlela ongacabanga ngazo.
> Imithombo:
> Baikie, K. et al. Izinzuzo zempilo ngokomzwelo nangokwenyama yokubhala okucacile. Ukuthuthukiswa kwe-BJPsych. 2007; 11 (5): 338-346.
> Murray, uBridget. Ukubhala ukuphulukisa. I-American Psychological Association. 2002; 33 (6): 54.