I-DABDA, izigaba ezinhlanu zokubhekana nokufa, zaqale zachazwa ngu-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross encwadini yakhe yakudala, ethi "On Death and Dying," ngo-1969.
Izigaba zimele lokhu okulandelayo:
- Yeka
- Intukuthelo
- Ukuxoxisana
- Ukucindezeleka
- Ukwamukelwa
Izigaba ezinhlanu zendlela yokubeka isigaba seKübler-Ross yiyona incazelo eyaziwa kakhulu yezimpendulo ezingokomzwelo nezingokwengqondo abantu abaningi ababhekana nazo lapho bebhekene nesifo esongela impilo noma isimo esishintsha ukuphila.
Lezi zigaba azisebenzi kuphela ekulahlekelweni ngenxa yokufa kodwa futhi zingase zenzeke kumuntu ohlangene nomcimbi oguqukayo wokuphila, njengokuhlukanisa noma ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi.
Lezi zigaba azihlosiwe ukuqedela noma ukulandelana kwesikhathi. Akuwona wonke umuntu obhekene nesenzakalo esongela ukuphila noma eshintsha impilo uzwa zonke izimpendulo ezinhlanu futhi ngeke wonke umuntu owaziyo akwenze ngendlela elotshiwe. Ukusabela ekuguleni, ekufeni nasekulahlekelweni kuyinto eyingqayizivele njengoba umuntu ehlangabezana nabo.
Encwadini yakhe, uKübler-Ross uxoxisana nale ncazelo yokubhekana ngendlela ehlukile, okusho ukuthi umuntu uhamba ngesigaba esisodwa ukuze afinyelele okulandelayo. Kamuva wachaza ukuthi le mbono yayingakaze ihloswe ukuba ihambisane noma ingasetshenziswa kubo bonke abantu; indlela umuntu ahamba ngayo kulezi zigaba ihlukile njengaleyo.
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi abanye abantu bazobhekana nazo zonke izigaba, ezinye ngokuhlelekile futhi abanye, futhi abanye abantu bangabhekana nezigaba ezimbalwa noma baze banamathele kunye.
Kuyathakazelisa futhi ukuphawula ukuthi indlela umuntu asingatha ngayo ukuhlupheka esikhathini esidlule kuyothinta indlela ukuxilongwa kwesifo esibulalayo kuphathwa ngayo. Isibonelo, owesifazane owayehlale egwema ukuhlupheka futhi wasebenzisa ukuphika ukubhekana nenhlekelele esikhathini esidlule angase athole ukuthi unamathele esigabeni sokuphika sokubhekana isikhathi eside.
Ngokufanayo, umuntu osebenzisa intukuthelo ukuze abhekane nezimo ezinzima angase azithole engakwazi ukuphuma esigabeni sokuthukuthela sokubhekana.
Ukulahla - Isigaba 1
Sonke sifuna ukukholelwa ukuthi akukho lutho olubi olungenzeka kithi. Ngaphandle kokuqonda, singase sikholelwe ukuthi asifi. Uma umuntu enikezwa ukuxilongwa kwesifo esibulalayo, kungokwemvelo ukungena esiteji sokuphika nokuhlukaniswa. Bangase bangahlali bengakholelwa lokho okushiwo udokotela futhi bafune imibono yesibili nesithathu. Bangase bafune isethi entsha yokuhlolwa, bekholelwa imiphumela yabokuqala ukuthi bangamanga. Abanye abantu bangase bazihlukanise nabodokotela babo futhi banqabe ukuthola olunye ukwelashwa okwesikhashana.
Phakathi nalesi sigaba, umuntu angazihlukanisa nomndeni wakhe nabangani bakhe ukugwema izingxoxo ngokugula kwakhe. Bangase bakholwe kwezinye izinga ukuthi ngokungavumelani nokuxilongwa kuzophela.
Lesi sigaba sokuphika ngokuvamile sihlala isikhathi esifushane. Ngokushesha ngemva kokungena, abaningi baqala ukwamukela ukuthi babhekwa njengento yangempela. Isiguli singaphuma sisodwa bese siqala ukwelashwa.
Kodwa-ke, abanye abantu bazosebenzisa ukuphika njengendlela yokubhekana nokugula nokugula kwabo. Ukuphika okwandisiwe akuyona into embi ngaso sonke isikhathi; akusizi njalo ukucindezeleka okukhulu.
Ngezinye izikhathi siyakholelwa ngokungafanele ukuthi abantu kudingeka bathole indlela yokwamukela ukufa kwabo ukuze bakwazi ukufa ngokuthula. Labo kithi abaye babona abantu balondoloza ukuphika kuze kube sekupheleni bayazi ukuthi lokhu akulona iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Intukuthelo - Isigaba 2
Njengomuntu owamukela iqiniso le-diagnostic esibulalayo, bangase baqale ukubuza, "Ngenzeleni mina?" Ukuqaphela ukuthi konke okulindelekile, amaphupho, kanye nezinhlelo ezihlelwe kahle ngeke zilethe ukuthukuthela nokukhungatheka. Ngeshwa, le ntukuthelo ivame ukuqondiswa emhlabeni futhi ngezikhathi ezithile.
Odokotela nabahlengikazi bayamemeza esibhedlela; Amalungu omndeni akhonjiswa ngentshiseko encane futhi ngokuvamile ahlupheka ngokungahleliwe kokuthukuthela.
Ngisho nabantu abangabazi bangenakuzivikela izenzo ezenzelwe intukuthelo.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi lokhu kuthukuthela kuvela kuphi. Umuntu ofayo angabuka i-TV futhi abone abantu behleka futhi bedansa-isikhumbuzo esinonya sokuthi akasakwazi ukuhamba futhi, akeke udide.
Encwadini ethi On Death and Dying , uKübler-Ross uchaza ngokucacile le ntukuthelo: "Uyophakamisa izwi lakhe, uzokwenza izidingo, uyokhononda futhi acele ukuba anakekele, mhlawumbe njengesikhalo sokugcina esithi, 'Ngiyaphila, ungakhohlwa lokho.Ungayizwa izwi lami. Angifile kakade! '"
Kubantu abaningi, lesi sigaba sokubhekana nazo siphila isikhathi esifushane. Kanti futhi, abanye abantu bazoqhubeka bethukuthele ngenxa yezifo eziningi. Abanye baze bafe nolaka.
Ukuxoxisana - Isigaba 3
Uma ukuphika nokuthukuthela kungenawo umphumela ohlosiwe, kulokhu ukuxilongwa okungalungile noma ukwelashwa okuyisimangaliso, abantu abaningi bazoqhubeka nokuxoxisana. Abaningi bethu sebevele bazama ukuxoxisana ngesikhathi esithile empilweni yethu. Izingane zifunda kusukela esemncane ukuthi ukuthukuthela umama lapho ethi "cha" ayisebenzi, kodwa ukuzama indlela ehlukile kungenzeka. Njengomntwana onesikhathi sokucabanga kabusha ngentukuthelo yakhe futhi aqale inqubo yokuxoxisana nomzali, kanjalo nabantu abaningi abanesifo esibulalayo.
Iningi labantu abangena esiteji sokuxoxisana benza kanjalo noNkulunkulu wabo. Bangavuma ukuthi baphile impilo enhle, basize abahluphekile, bangalokothi balale futhi, noma yiliphi inani lezinto "ezinhle" uma amandla abo aphezulu ezobaphulukisa kuphela ukugula kwabo.
Abanye abantu bangaxoxa nodokotela noma ngesifo ngokwayo. Bangase bazame ukuxoxisana isikhathi esiningi bethi izinto ezinjengalezi, "Uma ngingakwazi ukuhlala isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukubona indodakazi yami ishada ..." noma "Uma nje ngingakwazi ukugibela isithuthuthu sami isikhathi esithile ..." ukuthi ngeke bacele noma yini uma nje isifiso sabo sinikezwa. Abantu abangena kulesi sigaba ngokushesha bafunda ukuthi ukuxoxisana akusebenzi futhi kungahambi kahle, ngokuvamile kuya esigabeni sokucindezeleka.
Ukucindezeleka - Isigaba 4
Uma sekucaca ukuthi ukugula okugcina ukuhlala lapha, abantu abaningi bahlangabezana nokucindezeleka. Umthwalo okhuphuka wokuhlinza, ukwelashwa, nezimpawu zokugula, ngokwesibonelo, kwenza kube nzima kwabanye abantu ukuba bahlale bethukuthele noma bephoqa ukumomotheka. Ukucindezeleka, nakho, kungangena.
UKübler-Ross uchaza ukuthi kunezinhlobo ezimbili ngempela zokucindezeleka kulesi sigaba. Ukucindezeleka kokuqala, okwakuthiwa "ukucindezeleka okusebenzayo," kubonakala njengokusabela ekulahlekelweni kwamanje nokudlule. Isibonelo, owesifazane otholakala enomdlavuza womlomo wesibeletho angase alahlekelwe isisu sakhe kuqala ekuhlinzeni futhi izinwele zakhe zibe yi-chemotherapy. Umyeni wakhe ushiywe ngaphandle kosizo lokunakekela izingane zabo ezintathu, ngenkathi egula futhi kumele athumele izingane kulungu lomndeni ngaphandle kwedolobha. Ngenxa yokuthi ukwelashwa komdlavuza kwakubiza kakhulu, lo wesifazane nomlingani bakhe abakwazi ukuthenga imali yabo futhi badinga ukuthengisa ikhaya labo. Owesifazane uzwa umuzwa ojulile wokulahlekelwa yilowo nalowo walezi zenzakalo futhi uyangena ekucindezelekeni.
Uhlobo lwesibili lokucindezeleka lubizwa ngokuthi "ukucindezeleka kokulungiselela." Lesi yisiteji lapho umuntu kufanele abhekane nokulahlekelwa kwekusasa okuzokwenzeka kuyo yonke into nabo bonke abathandayo. Iningi labantu lizochitha lesi sikhathi sokudabuka ekucabangeni okuthulile njengoba bezilungiselela ukulahlekelwa okuphelele.
Lesi sigaba sokucindezeleka kubalulekile ukubhekana nayo. Yisikhathi sokulila okubalulekile kumuntu oshonile ukuze abhekane nokufa kwabo. Uma bekwazi ukulila ngokugcwele futhi badlule ekucindezelekeni, isiteji sokwamukelwa sizolandela.
Ukwamukela - Isigaba 5
Isiteji sokwamukelwa yilapho abantu abaningi bengathanda ukuba khona lapho befa. Kuyinto isiteji sokuxazulula ngokuthula ukuthi kuzokwenzeka ukufa nokulindela okulindelekile kokufika kwawo. Uma umuntu enenhlanhla ngokwanele ukuze afinyelele lesi sigaba, ukufa ngokuvamile kuvame ukuthula. Baye banemvume yokuveza ukwesaba, intukuthelo nokudabuka. Baye baba nesikhathi sokwenza izilungiso futhi bathi ukuhlelwa kwabathandekayo. Lo muntu uye waba nesikhathi sokusilahla ukulahlekelwa kwabantu abaningi abalulekile kanye nezinto ezisho okuningi kubo.
Abanye abantu abatholakaliswa ukugula kwabo futhi abanaso isikhathi sokusebenza ngalezi zigaba ezibalulekile bangase bangakutholi ukwamukelwa kweqiniso. Abanye abangakwazi ukuhamba besuka kwesinye isigaba-umuntu ohlala ethukuthele emhlabeni kuze kube sekufeni kwakhe, isibonelo-angase aphinde abe nokuthula kokwamukelwa . Ngomuntu onenhlanhla ozokwamukelwa, isigaba sokugcina ngaphambi kokufa sivame ukusetshenziselwa ukucabangela ngokuthula njengoba bephendukela ngaphakathi ukulungiselela ukuhamba kwabo kokugcina.
> Imithombo:
> Kübler-Ross, E. Ekufeni nasekufeni. 1969. New York, NY: Abashicileli be-Scribner.
> Izinyathelo eziyisihlanu zokuzisola. I-Psycom. 2017.