Ukusindiswa yecala kuyinto eningi kithi okufanele sibhekane nayo njengabahlengikazi abasinda . Ngesikhathi esifanayo sithatha izinyathelo ezibalulekile zokungenwa umdlavuza-noma okungenani siphila nomdlavuza-njalo umuntu owaziyo nothando unomdlandla noma unqabile lesi sifo. Esikhundleni sembuzo ethi "kungani mina" esingase sizibuze lapho sitholiwe, umbuzo uba: "Kungani ngingangena?" Yini esiyayiyazi ngale mizwa nokuthi yiziphi ezinye izindlela zokubhekana nazo?
Kuyini Ukuphulukiswa Kwesibopho?
Lapha sikhuluma ngokusinda komdlavuza, kodwa kunezibonelo eziningi zecala lokusinda. Ama-veterans aseMpiya abhekene nalolu daba njengoba bebukele ama-comrade abo abalimele noma ababulewe kodwa basinda. NgoSeptemba 11, 2001, kwashiya abantu abaningi abasinda benecala. Kwakuhlangenwe nakho nalabo abasebenza emibhoshini emibili futhi ngesizathu esithile babe nosuku, noma babe (ngenhlanhla) sekwephuzile ukusebenza. Kwakuzwakala yibo abasebenza kodwa baphuma ngesikhathi. Labo abasinda ngenkathi labo abasebenza nabo kanye nabangane befa bashiye le mizwa. Kungani kungimi?
Abasindile beCancer bangakwazi ukuzwa lecala elifanayo. Ngandlela-thile, ukuba nomdlavuza kufana nokuhlala endaweni yempi (futhi ngenxa yaleso sizathu, ezinye ze-oncologists zithi abaningi abasinda emdlavuza banezimo ezithile zokucindezeleka ngemuva kokucindezeleka). Isitha akuyona enye iqembu lamadoda, noma elinye izwe, kodwa kunalokho ibutho elikhulu lamangqamuzana omdlavuza emzimbeni wakho.
Ngokuvamile asikwazi ukuthi kungani umuntu oyedwa esinda emdlalweni kodwa omunye akwenzi. Noma kungani umuntu oyedwa engaba nomdlavuza ogcinwe isheke ngemithi lapho omunye umdlavuza womuntu uqhubeka. Njengomsindisi kulokhu kulungiselelwa, ungase uzizwe kabi kulabo abangapheli. Ungase uzizwe udabuke kakhulu, noma uzizwe unecala lokuthi ususinde.
Ukusinda kwecala elihlobene nomdlavuza kwenzeka ngezinga elihlukene kubantu abahlukene. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi lo mzwa ujwayelekile, futhi empeleni, uphawu oluphilile lokuthi ungumuntu onesihawu. Ngezinye izikhathi, kungabhekana nemicabango yakho ngokwanele ukuphazamisa imisebenzi yakho yansuku zonke. Uma ufika kulelo phuzu, kuwumqondo omuhle ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe.
Izibonelo
Ukusindiswa ngokwecala kungumqondo ophansi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kungasiza ukuhlanganyela izibonelo zangempela zokuphila.
Omunye osindile, u-Elizabeth (owamnika imvume yokwabelana naye indaba yakhe), unomdlavuza wonyaka oneminyaka engu-4. Lapho ehlonza umdlavuza wesiteji esiphambili, wayengalindele ukuba abe khona. Ngosuku olufanayo ayegubha ngalo iminyaka engu-4 yokukhumbula umdlavuza, waya emngcwabeni womngane ovela eqenjini lakhe lokusekela eladlula umdlavuza. Wangitshela ukuthi wazizwa ehlulwe ngaphakathi. Ingxenye yakhe yayifuna "ukumemeza emagqumeni" ukuthi isaphila, futhi ingxenye yakhe yayinesihlungu esikhulu lapho elahlekelwa umngane wakhe. Le ndawo "ephakathi" -imizwa emibi yokuzizwa injabulo wena kodwa ukudabuka komunye-yilokho esikushoyo ngegama elisindayo esecala.
Omunye umngane wabelane ukuthi wathola inhliziyo yakhe idabukile futhi wayekhala amahora ngemva kwesimiso ngasinye samakhemikhali.
Ngenkathi ethola ukwelashwa ukuthi, ngokuqinisekile, wayezomnika ukuxolelwa isikhathi eside emdlalweni wakhe, ngesonto ngalinye wahlala phakathi kwabantu ababili ababengekho abanenhlanhla. Bobabili babethatha i-chemotherapy njengomzamo wokwandisa izimpilo zabo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa kakhulu. Ngezinyembezi, wayengangibiza ngithi, "kunganjani mina?" Ngamanye amazwi, kungani efanelwe ithuba lokuphila, kanti abangane bakhe abasha babonakala bengenalo ithuba elifanayo?
Ukubhekana
Ngenkathi kungekho lutho olungasusa usizi lwakho (futhi kubalulekile ukudabuka ukulahlekelwa abangane nabathandekayo bethu) kukhona izinto ongayenza ukuze unciphise ezinye izinhlungu zomsulwa wecala.
Nanka eminye imibono eye yasiza abanye ukuba babhekane nalokhu:
Yamukela icala lakho. Isinyathelo sokuqala ekubhekaneni nemizwa yabasindile sinecala ukuvuma ukuthi imizwa yakho ikhona futhi ingokoqobo. Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuzwa ngendlela oyenzayo-empeleni, kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi uzwela futhi unakekela ngempela abantu.
Finyelela futhi uveze imizwa yakho. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukwenza umzamo wokuveza imizwa yethu exubile kungaletha ukukhululeka okukhulu. Ubani owaziyo ukuthi ukholelwa ukuthi uzoziqonda kangcono imizwa yakho ukuze bakwazi ukunikeza usizo oludingayo? Uyazi noma ubani oye "waba khona," futhi mhlawumbe ube nemizwa efanayo? Kwabanye abantu, ukubika imizwa yabo kuyisimo esihle kakhulu sokuhlanganyela imizwa yabo ngokukhululekile nabangani.
Vumela ukuba usizi futhi ukhumbule labo abanenhlanhla. Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ukudabuka okujulile esikubiza abasindile banecala uzibuze, "Ngithathe isikhathi sokulila?" Uma siphila nomdlavuza nsuku zonke, izinto eziningi ziphela ngemuva kokushisa emuva, futhi enye lezozinto zingaba lusizi uma sidinga ukudabuka .
Khumbula umngane wakho ngokusebenzisa isenzo somusa. Uma ulalela umuntu omaziyo noma othandekayo owadlula umdlavuza, ukuwakhumbula ngokusebenzisa isenzo somusa komunye kungenza leyo nkumbulo ibe yinto encane kakhulu ebuhlungu.
Yamukela ukuthi azikho izimpendulo. Sifuna ukuba nezizathu zokuthi kungani umuntu enomdlavuza ophikisanayo ngenkathi omunye umuntu ehlala ekulalelweni. Kodwa kaningi, azikho izimpendulo ezicacile. Yize kulula ukushiwo ukwedlula ukwenza, ukuvuma ukuthi angeke sithole izimpendulo esizifunayo kungasisiza ukuthi samukele ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi impilo, nomdlavuza, akunakwenzeka.
Thatha isikhashana ucabange ngecala lakho. Ingabe uzizwa unecala ngoba awuphili ngendlela ozizwa ngayo kufanele? Ngokuqinisekile, imizwa enjengale ingashukumisela ukwenza izinguquko zokuphila ozicabangayo zibalulekile-kodwa azange zenze. Ehlangothini le-flip, akudingeki ukuba uqinisekise ukuthi ufanelwe, noma ukuthi "ufanelwe ukusinda." Akudingeki ukuthi uthole futhi uqalise inzuzo enkulu engenzi inzuzo ukuze ukhulume ukuze ulungele ukusinda kwakho. Awunomuntu okhokhelwa yimuphi umzuzwana ithuba lakho lesibili empilweni.
Yamukela ingokomoya lakho. Ngokusho ukuthi ukwamukela ingokomoya lakho asifuni ukuya esontweni lesiseduze. Abanye abantu bathola inkolo ehleliwe ihlangabezana nalesi sidingo, kodwa kwabanye, ingokomoya ithatha elinye ifomu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuxoxisana nemvelo, ukwenza i-yoga, ukudweba, noma ukuya enkonzweni esontweni noma esinagogeni, ukwamukela ingokomoya lakho kungakusiza nje ukuba ubhekane nemizwa yokudabuka nokuzizwa unecala kodwa gubha isimangaliso sokusinda kwakho.
Ukuzivocavoca ukucindezeleka kokucindezeleka Sonke siyazi ukuthi umuzwa "ugxilile" kubonakala sengathi wenza ukubhekana nanoma yini ekuphileni kwethu kunzima kakhulu. Yini ongayenza ukuze unciphise ezinye izingcindezi ukuze uzinike isikhathi esengeziwe sokubhekana nokudla komdlavuza?
Cabanga ngokujoyina iqembu lokusekela. Ngezinye izikhathi ukukhuluma nabanye abantu "ababekhona" kuyigugu kakhulu. Ngaphezu kokuzizwa usondeza ngokwakho, ukuba indlebe kumuntu olwa nohambo lwakhe lomdlavuza kungakunika umqondo wenhloso uma uzizwa unethemba lokusinda icala. Izikhungo eziningi zomdlavuza nemiphakathi zinamaqembu asekela abantu abaphila nomdlavuza. Imiphakathi e-inthanethi namakamelo okuxoxa nawo ayatholakala.
Cela usizo nokusekelwa. Ukubhekana necala lomuntu osinda akuyona into oyenzayo kanye futhi uqhubeke ukusuka. Njengoba usindile, uzoqhubeka ugijimela kubantu abangazange basinde umdlavuza wabo noma umdlavuza wabo uthuthukile. Cabanga ukuthi ngubani oxhumana naye enethiwekhi yokusekela angakusiza kakhulu ukubhekana nalezi zinkinga bese ecela usizo lwakhe nokusekelwa uma kudingeka.
Gubha ukusinda kwakho. Kungase kusize ukucabanga ngalokho umngane wakho onenhlanhla angakufisa khona ngalesi sikhathi. Yiqiniso, ngabe ufuna ukugubha ukuphepha kwakho komdlavuza. Njengoba ukhumbuza, cabanga ukuthi uyakuthanda njengoba usulele empilweni njengoba usinda, noma usaphila, uhambo lwakho lomdlavuza.
Ucwaningo lwesikhathi esizayo
Ngeshwa, naphezu kwemibhalo eminingi, sasiwela emabhulogi omuntu siqu nasemakamelo okuxoxa lapho abasindile bomdlavuza babelana khona nezinkinga zabo, akukho ucwaningo oluningi oluye lwashicilelwa mayelana nomsulwa wecala ukuthi cishe bonke abasindile bomdlavuza bahlangabezana nokunye degree. Ngethemba ukuthi, ngenani elikhulu labasindile bomdlavuza manje abahlala emhlabeni wonke, le ndawo izobhekana nakakhulu esikhathini esizayo.
Imithombo:
Andrykowski, M. et al. Health Psychological in survivors of cancer. Ama-Seminar ku-Oncology Nursing . 2008. 24 (3): 193-201.
Izikhungo zokuLawula izifo. Isu likaZwelonke soHlelo lweCarcer Survivorship: Ukuthuthukisa izinkambiso zempilo yomphakathi.
I-Harvard Health Publications. I-Harvard Medical School. I-Harvard Health Blog. U-Ann MacDonald, umhleli. Izinselele ezingqondweni nangokomzwelo zokusinda umdlavuza.