Ukuhluka phakathi kosizi oluvamile nolunzima
Ngenkathi usizi luyimpendulo engokwemvelo futhi evamile ezenzakalweni ezibuhlungu, abanye abantu bakuthola kunzima ukuqhubeka futhi baphinde baphile impilo yabo evamile naphezu kokuhamba kwesikhathi. Lesi sihloko sichaza umehluko phakathi kwesimiso esivamile nesiyinkimbinkimbi emva kokufa komuntu othandekayo, izimpawu ezijwayelekile noma izici zomuntu ngamunye, nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nosizi olunzima.
Kuyini Ukudabuka?
Usizi luyimpendulo enamandla, eningi enezici eziningi futhi ezingalawulwayo ukuthi abantu besipiliyoni bahlangabezana nesenzakalo esibuhlungu noma esibuhlungu . Nakuba ngokuvamile ehlotshaniswa nokufa komuntu othandekayo, ukubeletha noma ukukhulelwa kwesisu, ezinye izenzakalo eziningi zingabangela nosizi ngezindiza ezihlukahlukene, njenge:
- • Ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi
- • Ukuguqulwa okuphawulekayo endleleni yokuphila noma isimo sezimali
- • Ukuqeda ubungane, ubuhlobo bomshado noma umshado
- • Ukugula okukhulu noma isifo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uqobo noma uthinta umuntu omthandayo
- • Ukulahlekelwa ukuhamba kwakho ngokomzimba noma ukuzimela
- • Ukuphanga noma ukugqekeza okwephula umuzwa wakho wokuphepha / ukuphepha
- • Ingozi yezimoto noma enye imicimbi ephawulekayo "eduze kokufa"
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi usizi akuyona imzwelo eyodwa; kungumlando noma isimo sezinto esizibonakalisa ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo kanye / noma ngokomoya kulandela umcimbi obuhlungu noma obuhlungu.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, njengeminwe yethu yeminwe, ngamunye wethu uyingqayizivele nokuthi sizwa kanjani usizi, nokuthi singakhathazeka isikhathi esingakanani, singahluka kakhulu kusuka komuntu oyedwa kuya kwesinye , silandela izimo ezilahlekile ezifana nokufa komzali, umlingani / umlingani, ingane, isilwane, njll
Lokho kusho ukuthi, nakuba wonke umuntu ezwa usizi, kukhona umehluko phakathi kokudabuka okujwayelekile, okungahambi kahle noma okulula nokusizi okungavamile, okunzima noma okwedlulele.
Kuyini Ukulizwa Okuvamile?
Ukudabuka yindlela engokwemvelo, edingekayo futhi evamile lapho abantu besabela khona kumcimbi obuhlungu noma othukuthelayo. Ngesikhathi wonke umuntu ezwa usizi ngendlela yakhe, iningi labasindile ngokuvamile libonisa ezinye / zonke izici ezilandelayo okwesikhashana lapho bephendula ukulahlekelwa ezinsukwini, emasontweni noma ezinyangeni emva kokufa komuntu othandekayo:
- • Izinyembezi, ukukhala noma ukukhala
- • Izinguquko zendlela yokulala, njengokunzima ukulala noma ukulala kakhulu / ukulala kakhulu
- • Ukungabi namandla kwamandla jikelele
- • Ukuzwa ukuxilonga noma ukungakhathaleli ngemisebenzi edingekayo yosuku noma impilo ejwayelekile
- • Izinguquko ekudleni, njengokungazizwa njengokudla noma ukudla okuningi, ikakhulukazi ukudla okungenamsoco
- • Ukushiya ekusebenzisaneni okuvamile / okujwayelekile kwezenhlalakahle kanye nobuhlobo
- • Kunzima ukugxila noma ukugxila emsebenzini, kungakhathaliseki emsebenzini, ngokwabo, ukuzilibazisa, njll.
- • Ukubuza izinkolelo ezingokomoya noma zenkolo, ukukhetha umsebenzi / umsebenzi noma izinjongo zokuphila
- • Imizwa yentukuthelo, inecala, isizungu, ukucindezeleka, ukungabi nalutho, ukudabuka, njll - kepha ngezikhathi ezithile zijabulela izikhathi zenjabulo / injabulo
Njengoba kuphawuliwe ngenhla, wonke umuntu uyabuhlungu ukulahlekelwa ngenxa yokufa ngendlela yakhe eyingqayizivele, futhi ayikho isikhathi sokudabuka. Kodwa-ke, izinsizi eziningi zithola ezinye / zonke lezi zindlela ezithinta kakhulu kakhulu ezinsukwini / amasonto ambalwa emva kokulahleka kodwa kancane kancane zibuyela "esimweni esisha" emasontweni / izinyanga kamuva.
Ngeke uze ukhohlwe ngokuphelele othandekayo wakho njengokungathi akakaze abe khona, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzofunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokungabikho kwakhe kanye nobunzima enhliziyweni nasemphefumulweni wakho.
Iyini Inhlungu Eyinkimbinkimbi?
Njengoba kuphawuliwe ngenhla, usizi "oluvamile" olubhekene nokushona komuntu othandekayo ngokuvamile luyabathinta abalilayo okwesikhashana, kanti iningi labasindile kancane kancane bazizwa ukuthi izimo zentukuthelo ziyahlukana nokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi zingaqala ukuqala kabusha imizila nemisebenzi yabo yemvelo. Kodwa-ke, abanye abantu bangase babhekane nosizi oluyinkimbinkimbi lapho izimpendulo ezivamile zokufa komuntu othandekayo zingapheleli isikhathi futhi zingabaphazamisa noma zibavimbele ekuholeni ukuphila kwabo okuvamile .
Izinhlungu eziyinkimbinkimbi zingase zibhekiswe ngamanye amagama , njenge:
- • usizi olungavamile
- • usizi olungapheli
- • inkinga yokucindezeleka eyinkimbinkimbi
- • usizi olukhulu
- • usizi olukhulu
- • ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo okushonelwayo
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi i-terminology, izici zosizi olunzima zingabandakanya (ngaphezu kwanoma yiziphi izimpawu eziboniswe ngenhla):
- • Ukufutheka, ukucasuka noma iziqephu zokufutheka
- • Ukungakwazi ukugxila kunoma yini kodwa ukufa komuntu othandekayo
- • Ukugxila kakhulu kwizikhumbuzo zomuntu oshonile noma ukugwema ngokweqile lezi zikhumbuzo
- • Imizwa ejulile yokudabuka, ubuhlungu, inqola, insizi, ukungabi nethemba, ukungabi nalutho, ukuzethemba okuphansi, ukufutheka noma ukulangazelela ukuba khona komuntu oshonile
- • Izinkinga zokwamukela iqiniso lokufa
- • Ukuziphatha okulimazayo, njengokusebenzisa kabi utshwala noma izidakamizwa
- • Imicabango yokuzibulala noma izenzo ( Uma ubhekene nemicabango yokuzibulala, shayela i-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ku-800-273-8255 ukuze ukhulume nomeluleki ochwepheshe !)
Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, ukusabela komuntu wonke okubuhlungu kuyinto ehlukile futhi ayikho isikhathi esithile esichaza lapho usizi oluvamile luba usizi olunzima . Abanye bafaka umbandela wezinyanga eziyisithupha emva kokufa, kodwa kungokwemvelo ukuthi izikhalazo zithole unyaka wokuqala emva kokulahlekelwa okukhulu kunzima njengoba abasindile bahlangabezana namaholide, izinsuku zokuzalwa, izinsuku zokugubha nezinye izinsuku ezibalulekile zonyaka / imicimbi okokuqala ngaphandle abathandekayo babo.
Uma ubonisa ezinye zezici zobunzima obuyinkimbinkimbi ngenhla, usazizwa "uzibophezele" osizini lwakho kanye / noma ukuthi impendulo yakho yesikhala iyaqhubeka noma ifinyelele naphezu kokuhamba kwezinyanga ezimbalwa noma ngaphezulu, ungase ucabange ukufuna usizo ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo.
Kumele ucabangele ukujoyina iqembu lokusekela ekufeni , ikakhulukazi uma kukhona umuntu oye wahlangabezana nokulahlekelwa okufanayo (umlingani, umlingani, ingane, njll.) Ukudabuka ngokuvamile kubangelwa ukuzihlukanisa kodwa ukuxoxa ngesimo sakho nabanye ukulila ukufa kungakusiza ukuba uthole umbono ohlukile ekuphenduleni kwakho okuqondile.
Izingosi Okungeke Kube / Kungase Kungabi Nesandla Esixukwini Esiyinkimbinkimbi
Okokugcina, kuye ngezimo ezungeze ukufa kanye / noma ubuntu obuhlukile / ubuhlobo babantu abathintekayo, izinselele ezithile zingenzeka okungenzeka - noma kungenjalo-kungabangela iqhaza ekuhluphekeni okunzima noma kukubuza ukuthi ubhekana nobunzima usizi.
Ukudabuka okudabukisayo kuhilela ukuhlehliswa kwesimphendvulo esivamile sosizi kuze kube sesikhathini esilandelayo , kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngenhloso noma ngokungazi. Kwezinye izimo, umuntu angase adingeke 'abe namandla' ngaphandle ukuze asize omunye othandekayo ukuba abhekane nokulandela ukufa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi inqubo yomngcwabo , insizakalo noma ukukhala, noma emasontweni / izinyanga ezilandelayo. Kwezinye izimo, omunye umuntu angase aqale ukulila ngemva kokufa ngenxa yokuthi usuvele ecindezelekile kakhulu, udinga isikhathi esiningi ukucubungula ukulahlekelwa, angakwazi ukulilaza aze ahlangabezane "nokucindezeleka," njll.
Usizi olungenasifo sangasese lungenzeka uma umuntu osiziyo ezwa ukuthi akakwazi ukuvuma ngokusobala ukulahlekelwa ukufa ngenxa yezingcindezi zangempela noma ezicatshangelwe ezenziwa ngumndeni wakhe / abangane, izinkolelo zamasiko noma zenkolo, noma umphakathi jikelele. Izimbangela zingabandakanya, isibonelo, ukufa okuhlobene neHIV / AIDS, ukukhulelwa kwesisu noma ukubeletha, noma ukufa komlingani wobulili obufanayo noma oshade naye. Kulezi zimo, umuntu angase alinde ukuphendula kwakhe usizi noma azizwe kudingekile ukulila yodwa / ngasese.
Usizi olubuhlungu lungenzeka uma ukufa kwenzeka ngokufutheka, ngokungalindelekile noma kubangela ukushona komuntu oshona "ngaphambi kwesikhathi sakhe," njengosana, ingane, ukubulala noma isisulu sengozi, umuntu obhekene nesifo esibulalayo / isifo, njll. Ukuhlupheka okungazelelwe noma okudabukisayo kungaholela ekuphenduleni okwedlulele ngisho nangemva kokucindezeleka kokucindezeleka kokucindezeleka.
Futhi, kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi noma ubani ozwa ukubambezeleka, usizi olungenakuqhathaniswa noma olubuhlungu ngeke neze alubhekane nosizi oluyinkimbinkimbi . Ezimweni eziningi, izinsizi zizoqhubeka zibhekene nokuphendula kwabo usizi ngokujwayelekile naphezu kwezimo futhi ngaphandle kokulandela "izinyathelo" ezithile zosizi . Kodwa uma ungabaza, ngakho-ke kufanele ucabangele ukucela usizo kumchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo.
Ihlelwe futhi ibuyekezwa nguChris Raymond.