Ngicelwa njalo ukuthi kungcono kanjani "ukusondela" inkinga yokukhuluphala kwengane . Umbuzo ubuzwa iziguli emtholampilo, ku-intanethi, kusukela kumakrofoni ngesikhathi se-Q & A emibuthanweni, ngisho nangabalingani bemitholampilo. Kunesizathu esihle sokuzwela esihlokweni. Kukhona, ngicabanga, isici esithile esivumelana nesigama esithi "ukukhuluphala" ekuqaleni, nakuba lokho kungase kwandiswe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba ukuchayeka njalo kusisifise.
Futhi okwesibili, noma ubani omdala ohloniphekile uyakwazisa ukukhathazeka kwengane. Ukubhekana nenkinga ebucayi, futhi imizwa ebucayi ingabangela ukulimala kabi.
Konke okungase kusiphakamise ukuthi impendulo ayifuni, noma iyimfihlakalo, noma iyinkimbinkimbi. Kodwa eqinisweni, ngicabanga ukuthi akuyona into engenhla. Ngicabanga ukuthi kufinyeleleke, kungenangqondo, futhi kulula njengoba kungenzeka. Ngicabanga ukuthi indlela engcono kakhulu yokukhula ngokweqile kwengane ingavezwa ngegama elilodwa nje. Leli gama lithi: uthando.
Ngokuvamile, okuqukethwe lapha kuzobekwa idatha. Uma ubuyela lapha kaningi, njengoba ngithemba ukuthi uzofuna ulwazi olusha nolusha olusha, uzokwazi ukujwayela ngokushesha kuma-hyperlink okuholela ekuhloleni okubhekiselwe kuzo, amaphepha okucwaninga okubuyekezwa kontanga ikakhulukazi. Kodwa lokhu kuyinto ehlukile ngaphandle. Kukhona izincwadi ezifanelekile ukukhuluma, kodwa ngiyavuma lokhu okuvela enhliziyweni. Lokhu kunomsebenzi omkhulu wokuba umzali njengodokotela, nokuningi okuphathelene neminyaka engu-25 yokuxhumana nabantu bangempela emitholampilo yami kunokufunda idatha yocwaningo mayelana nabantu engakaze ngihlangane nabo.
Ukuvikela Izingane Zakho Ukusuka Enhlekeleleni
Uthando yindlela efanele.
Ababelethi bezingane ezincane bayazi ukuthi abaqapheli isimo esisisindo sezingane zabo. Kungani? Ngoba ukuvuma "ukukhuluphala" kwengane kucatshangwa ukuthi kuyinkinga kubo bonke abathintekayo: ukubeletha komzali, umzimba womntwana. Kodwa ukungayinaki inkinga akuyikuyilungisa, futhi ingagxiliwe, ukukhuluphala ngokweqile kwasebusheni kubonisa ukuphila okunciphile: iminyaka embalwa yokuphila, impilo encane eminyakeni.
Akekho umzali onothando ofuna lokho. Ngakho isizathu sokuqaphela nokuphendula ngokukhuluphala yilokhu: uthando.
Akukho okulimazayo okuhlobene nokuvikela labo esibathandayo kunoma yini engabalimaza. Ayikho ihlazo, icala, icala, noma ukwahlulela okuhilelekile ekuvikeleni izingane zethu ezisongweni. Funa, futhi usabele ezinkombeni zakuqala zokukhuluphala kwengane ngenxa yezizathu ezingahlangani nokuziqhenya, noma ukuhlazeka, noma isithombe somzimba; impumelelo, noma ukwehluleka. Shintsha konke lokho ngothando. Uma uthanda izingane zakho, yenza konke ongakwenza ukuze uzivikele. Thina njengabazali (noma ugogo nomkhulu) akusoze sinecala lokuthi siphila ezweni lezingozi ezingathola izingane zethu, ukukhuluphala ngokweqile kanye ne-sequelae yayo phakathi kwabo. Kodwa sonke sihlale sinomthwalo wemfanelo, ngothando njengesizathu sethu sokugqugquzela, ukwenza konke esingakwenza ukuze sibavikele.
Indlela Yokufinyelela Esihlokweni
Ngokufanayo, abazali bezingane ezindala kubonakala sengathi bekungalungile ngesimo sesisindo sezingane zabo, njengabantwana ngokwabo. Nakulokhu, lokhu kungenxa yokuthi isisindo sinezinkinga zokuphumelela nokuhluleka, ukuziqhenya noma ukuhlazeka. Abazali abazi ukuthi baxoxisane kanjani nesihloko nabantwana babo abadala, noma abadala. Ugogo nomkhulu abakwazi ukuxoxisana nesihloko nezingane zabo, ukubhekana nokukhathazeka ngabazukulu babo.
Abazali abazi ukuthi bangatshela kanjani umama ukuthi ayeke ukuthungela ukudla okungenamsoco.
Uthando luyimpendulo kuzo zonke izimo. Umzali onothando angasho kumntwana kunoma yimuphi umdala: "Ngiyakuthanda, futhi ngikhathazekile ngokuthi isisindo sakho singathinta impilo yakho. Ngifuna ube nesikhathi eside kunazo zonke, ukuphila okungcono kunokwenzeka ngoba ngiyakuthanda. Ngingabasiza kanjani? "
Noma yimuphi umzali angasho kunoma yikuphi ukhulu nomkhulu: "Ngiyazi ukuthi uyabathanda abazukulu bakho, futhi ngiyazi ukuthi ukuphatha kungase kubonakale kuyindlela enhle yokuyikhombisa. Kodwa isipho esingcono kunazo zonke esingazidlula siyimpilo enamandla namandla; Abantu abanempilo bayajabula kakhulu! Sicela usebenze nami ukunikeza lo mntwana esimthandayo kakhulu, impilo engcono kakhulu. "
Futhi ngenxa yalokhu, noma yimuphi udokotela angasho kunoma yisiphi isineke: "Umsebenzi wami ukuvikela impilo yakho yonke indlela engikwazi ngayo. Ngikhathazekile ngokuthi isisindo sakho sisongela empilweni yakho, ngakho-ke ngingathanda ukuxoxa nawe futhi ngixoxe ngokuthi singayilungisa kanjani. Ingabe lokho kulungile? "Uma ubuza lo mbuzo futhi usho: Angikaze ngihlangabezane nesiguli esingathi" cha. "
Ukusebenzisana Emzimbeni Wezempilo
Okokugcina, sonke siyazi ukuthi i-adage: ngobunye, kunamandla. Enye yezingqinamba zethu ezinkulu ekubhekaneni nokukhuluphala ngokweqile ukuzihlukanisa thina, nomunye nomunye. Abantu abadala baya "ekudleni" futhi bashiya izingane zabo ngemuva. Abazali bafuna isiqondiso sokubhekana nokukhuluphala kwengane, kunokuqaphela ukuthi imindeni ngokuvamile ithola impilo (kanye / noma isisindo) ngokuphumelelayo ndawonye. Umndeni osebenza ndawonye ukuze ube nempilo isikhathi eside ugwema konke ukuhlambalaza nokuhlazeka kwengane eyodwa "ephethwe" ngokukhuluphala. Ukudla kahle nokusebenza kahle kuhle kubo bonke abathintekayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunesidingo sokulahlekelwa isisindo, noma cha. Yenza impilo njengomndeni, ngoba akekho ingane isiqhingi. Ngoba ngobunye, kunamandla. Ngoba uthandana.
Ukuvikelwa kwegama elilodwa ngokumelene nokusola nokuhlazeka; inhlamba nokulimaza; ukwahlulela nokuhlukaniswa, uthando. Uma uthando luyisisusa sethu futhi lukwazisa izindlela zethu, asikwazi ukuhamba kabi kakhulu.