Lokho Intsha Efuna Ukukwazi Uma Ukhuluma Ngezocansi

Iseluleko sabazali ... Kusuka kokubheka kwentsha

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abazali bafuna ukuvuma noma cha, ngezinye izikhathi, intsha yabo izoqala ukukhuluma ngocansi futhi ihlanganyele kuyo. Uyazi ukuthi yini okufanele ukwenze uma sekuyisikhathi sokukhuluma ngocansi nomntanakho? Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi intsha iyazi ukuthi ucansi futhi iqhaza kuyo eminyakeni encane kakhulu:

▪ Amaphesenti ayisithupha abantu abaneminyaka engu-13 ubudala baye balala ngokocansi.

▪ Amaphesenti angamashumi amane nesithupha kubo bonke abafundi esikoleni esiphakeme sebevele bahlanganyela ocansini.

▪ Ingxenye yazo yonke intsha ayikholelwa ukuthi ubulili ngomlomo buyisini.

▪ Amaphesenti ayishumi nesishiyagalolunye abafundi abafunda esikoleni esiphakeme babika ukuthi sebebe nabalingani abane noma ngaphezulu ocansi.

▪ Amaphesenti ayishumi nesishiyagalolunye abasha abesilisa ocansini abaneminyaka eyi-15-19 ababika ukuthi basebenzisa noma yikuphi ukulawulwa kokubeletha ngesikhathi sokugcina ocansini.

▪ Amaphesenti angu-20 entsha ayenesondo ngesikhathi eneminyaka engu-15.

▪ Amaphesenti angu-50 kubazali abakwa-8th-11th babengazi ukuthi izingane zabo zaqala ukulala ocansini.

▪ Omunye emantombazaneni amancane angama-5 uzokhulelwa ngesikhathi esikoleni esiphakeme-amaphesenti angu-6.7 amantombazane aneminyaka eyi-10-14 eyokhulelwa.

▪ Amaphesenti angamashumi amathathu nesine abo bonke abafundi esikoleni esiphakeme abika ukuthi bahlanganyela ocansini (okusho ukuthi baye balala ocansini ezinyangeni ezintathu ezedlule).

Kungani kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi abazali bakhulume ngocansi nabasha babo? Idatha isikisela ukuthi:

▪ Amaphesenti angaba ngu-32 eneminyaka eyishumi nambili (abaneminyaka engu-15-19) athi abazange bathole imfundo yokuziphatha ngocansi ngaphambi kokuba bafinyelele eminyakeni eyi-18 (lokhu kufaka indlela yokuthi cha ngokuya ocansini ). Kulabo abasha abaye bathola ukufundiswa, cishe amaphesenti angama-60 alaba bafana abangekho imfundo yezocansi ngaphambi kwebanga leshumi.

▪ Amaphesenti angaphezu kwangu-50 entsha abaneminyaka eyi-10-15 athi uma becabanga ukuthi bazocansi kanye / noma bafuna isiqondiso ekusebenzelaneni nokucindezelwa ukuba bahlanganyele ocansini, baqale bafune ukukhuluma nabazali babo.

▪ Amaphesenti angu-31.7 kuphela abafana namaphesenti angu-51.7 amantombazane (abaneminyaka engu-15-17) baye baxoxisana nezindlela zokulawula ukubeletha nomzali kanti amaphesenti angama-75.8 wabantwana abasha kanye namaphesenti angu-60,7 amantombazane asetsheni athi abazali babo abazange bakhulume nabo ukuthi bazovelaphi ukulawula.

▪ Amaphesenti angamashumi ayisishiyagalombili nesishiyagalolunye abaneminyaka engu-15-17 abangazange bahlanganyele ocansini kanti abangu-56% kulabo abaye bahlanganyela ocansini bathi akakaze bakhulume nabazali babo ukuthi bangazi kanjani ukuthi usukulungele ukuya ocansini.

▪ Amaphesenti angaba ngu-50.1 omama abasha abika ukuthi akenzanga lutho ukuvimbela ukukhulelwa.

▪ Amaphesenti angamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye nesishiyagalolunye abasha abayishumi nambili (12-19) athi bayothola kulula ukulibazisa izenzo zocansi nokugwema ukukhulelwa kwentsha uma bekwazi ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka ngalezi zihloko nabazali babo.

Uma ukholelwa noma cha, abazali banethonya elibaluleke kakhulu uma ngabe izingane zabo zikhulelwe noma cha. Nakuba njengabazali ongeke ukwazi ukulawula izinqumo zakho zocansi ezinganeni, ikhwalithi yobuhlobo bakho nezingane zakho zingenza umehluko ngempela. Idatha ibonisa ukuthi intsha esondelene nabazali bayo futhi ixhaswa yiyo kungenzeka ukuthi ibaleke ocansini, ilinde baze asebekhulile ukuba baqale ukuya ocansini, babe nabalingani bezocansi abambalwa futhi basebenzise ngokwengeziwe ukuvimbela ukukhulelwa . Umyalezo-ungalindeli ukukhuluma ngocansi nomntanakho. Qala lezi zingxoxo kusenesikhathi-bese uphinda njalo. Ngale ndlela, ingane yakho izozizwa ikhululekile kakhulu ukukhuluma ngocansi nawe.

Ngakho-ke, ukhuluma kanjani ngocansi nomntanakho? Yini okufanele ukhulume ngayo? Okulandelayo yilokho intsha ithi bayathanda kubazali babo ukuthi bazi uma kuziwa enkulumweni yobulili:

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Intsha inemibuzo

Kwabaningi abasha, ukucabanga ngokulala ocansini noma ukwazi abangane abenza ucansi kungabangela ukucindezeleka, okuphazamisayo nokwethusa. Kungaba okokuqala ukuthi ingane yakho ibheke ukuhlukunyezwa kwabantu abadala, njengokubonisa umthwalo wokuvimbela ukukhulelwa okungahlosiwe -kucabangela ukuthi ngabe kufanelekile ngokukhipha isisu , kuba ngumzali , noma umcabango wokutholwa. Intsha ibhekwa ngokucindezelwa kontanga kubangane, abezindaba, izincwadi, umculo, omagazini nemidlalo yevidiyo. Kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngocansi nabo, ngisho noma bengabuzi kuqala imibuzo. Intsha idinga usizo nesiqondiso ekuqondeni umongo kanye nencazelo yocansi. Bangase babe namahloni noma besabe ukuza kuwe ukuze uthole iseluleko, ngakho-ke zama ukunikela kubo esikhundleni. Cabanga ukuthi banemibuzo futhi babe ngumthombo othembekile onganikeza izimpendulo.

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Intsha Ukunakekela

Ngisho noma ingane yakho ingase ingenzi noma ikutshele kanjalo, intsha ibonakala ibakhathalela ukuthi abazali bayo bayatshela ukuthini. Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi benza kanjalo noma cha, ingane yakho ifuna (futhi idinga) isiqondiso sakho. Ingane yakho ifuna ukukujabulisa futhi ikwenze uziqhenye.

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Kudingeka Ukulungele

Kubalulekile ukuthi ukhulume ngocansi, ukukhulelwa kokukhulelwa kanye nezifo ezithathelwana ngocansi (STIs) nomntanakho. Intsha kudingeka iqonde ukuthi umzimba wesifazane usebenza kanjani nokuthi ukukhulelwa kwenzeka kanjani. Uma ingane yakho ilala ocansini, udinga ukuba nolwazi olunembile mayelana nokuthi ungakhulelwa kanjani bese ubamba i-STI. Ngisho noma ingane yakho ingaboni ucansi, yena uzobe esekhona esikhathini esithile impilo yakhe. Ungathanda yini ukuthi ingane yakho ithole ulwazi olunembile kuwe noma lithembele kulwazi lwamanga / amanga kusuka kubangani babo?

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Ubudlelwane obufanele futhi obuqotho

Intsha idinga izibonelo ezinhle, abadala. Badinga ukubona ukuthi ubuhlobo obunokwethenjelwa bubukeka bunjani. Uma wabelana ngemisebenzi nezingane zakho futhi ubonisa ukunakekelwa kwabazali, intsha ingathonywa kahle. Ikhwalithi yokuphila komndeni wakho ihlotshaniswa nengozi yokukhulelwa kwentsha. Intsha ekhulela emindenini ehlukumezayo, amakhaya omndeni owodwa kanye / noma ubumpofu kungenzeka ukuthi abe nobulili. Gxila ekwenzeni ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho nomntanakho, futhi ufundise izindlela zokuziphatha ezingasiza ukuvimbela imizwa ebuhlungu noma ukulimaza abanye.

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Yenza Okungaphezu Kwemfundo Ngokuziqeda

Nakuba kubalulekile ukuveza ngokucacile okulindelweyo namagugu kumntanakho, intsha idinga ngaphezulu . Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukukhuluma ngokulawulwa kokubeletha nokuziyeka ngesikhathi esifanayo akubanga ukudideka noma imiyalezo exubekile. Intsha ithola-ngakho-ke ngokuba nezingxoxo ezinomthwalo wemfanelo, uveza inhlonipho yengane yakho. Ungasebenzisa nalesi sikhathi ukutshela ingane yakho ukuthi uzizwa kanjani uma nje ulalela lokho okushoyo.

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Ukukhulelwa kwentsha akusihle

Ingaphansi kwengxenye yabo bonke abasha bayavuma ukuthi bathola umlayezo ocacile wokuthi ukukhulelwa kwentsha okungenakulungiswa akulungile. Kubonakala sengathi amaphesenti angu-71 ezinsikazi abesilisa nabesifazane abangamaphesenti angama-64 avumelana noma bavuma ngokuqinile ukuthi kulungile ukuthi owesifazane ongashadile abe nomntwana. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, amaphesenti angu-58 kuphela abesifazane abasha kanye namaphesenti angu-47 abesilisa abesilisa abathandana nabo bazobe becasukile kakhulu uma bekhulelwe (noma bekhulelwe umlingani). Eqinisweni, amaphesenti angu-14 amantombazane kanye namaphesenti angu-18 abafana abonisa ukuthi bazojabula uma bekhulelwe (noma babangela ukukhulelwa). Idatha efana nalokhu iphakamisa ukuthi intsha ingavumelani ukuthi ukukhulelwa kwentsha kungaba yinkinga-kuphela amaphesenti angu-12 abafana abasha abatshela ukuthi abafuni ukuya ocansini ngoba besaba ukuthola intombazane ekhulelwe.

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Lalela

Yazi ukuthi ukuqapha nokuqondisa ukuziphatha kwentsha yakho kwenza umehluko. Qaphela futhi uhileleke. Funda ukuthi obani abangani babo. Ungakholelwa ngokukhohlisayo ukuthi uzokwazi uma ingane yakho ilala ocansini-abazali abaningi abenzi. Yenza iphuzu ukuveza ukukhathazeka nokuthanda ingane yakho njalo futhi ungalindeli ingane yakho ingenzi kahle. Futhi, qaphela ingane yakho uma enomntanakho omdala owenza ucansini-osemusha kuleso simo banomkhuba omkhulu wokuhlanganyela ocansini ubudala.

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Ungacabangi ukuthi bayayenza

Uma konke kusho futhi kwenziwa, intsha idinga ulwazi olunembile, ngakho-ke ingenza izinqumo ezinolwazi. Uma ingane yakho ifika kuwe ibuza mayelana nokwaziswa kokukhulelwa komzimba kanye nocansi, ungacabangi nje ukuthi bahlanganyela ocansini. Abazali abaningi bayavuma ukuthi bangathanda ukuthi ingane yabo ihlale ingacabangi, kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi intsha ngeke ikwazi ukwazi ngocansi. Phendula imibuzo yengane yakho ngaphandle kwesahlulelo. Khumbula ukuthi imfundo yezocansi kuphela yokugcina ucansi ayigcinisi intsha ekufundiseni ngezocansi kuphela izinhlelo zokufundisa ngezocansi (ezikhuluma ngokuzilahla kanye nokukhulelwa kwezingane) kubangelwa ukuqaliswa kocansi okulibalekile kwentsha. Ngakho ungangeni esicupheni sokukholelwa ukuthi ukukhuluma ngokukhulelwa kwengane yakho kuyakukhuthaza ukuziphatha ngokocansi.

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Ubudlelwane obungenampilo

Intsha ingadinga usizo ekutholeni ukuthi bangabe bengenabo ubuhlobo obungenasimilo noma obuhlukumezayo. Bangase babheke ifa njengesibonakaliso sokuthi isoka noma intombi yabo iyabathanda kakhulu kangangokuthi njalo ufuna ukuba nabo. Ubuhlobo obusha lapho kukhona abalingani abadala noma ukungafani kobuhlanga, ubuhlanga, izimo zomnotho zomphakathi, njll, zivame ukuhlotshaniswa nokusetshenziswa okuphansi kokukhulelwa komzimba. Njalo kunjalo uma ingane yakho ingazi umlingani wayo kahle kakhulu. Kungase kunzima ingane yakho ukuthi ixoxisane ngomsebenzi wezocansi kanye / noma ukusetshenziswa kwe-contraception uma ebudlelwaneni obubi. Intsha nayo idinga ukuxwayiswa mayelana nezingozi ezingase zibe yinkimbinkimbi.

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Akekho Othanda Ngempela Ukukhuluma Ngocansi

Ake sibhekane nakho, abazali abaningi besaba ukukhuluma ngocansi nabasha babo, futhi intsha ayibheki phambili ekukhulumeni ngokobulili. Uma uqala lezi zingxoxo uma izingane zakho zisencane, kulula ukufaka nje kulezi zinkulumo njengoba izingane zakho zikhula. Noma nini lapho ukhuluma ngocansi, kufanele kube ingxoxo , hhayi inkulumo. Ngisho noma ungase uzizwe ungakhululekile, ingane yakho ingase ibe nomuzwa onamahloni, ngakho yenza konke ongakwenza ukuze uzizwe ukhululekile futhi uhlonishwa. Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi ibuze imibuzo bese ixoxa ngombono wabo. Kunoma yikuphi, umsebenzi womzali ukulungiselela izingane zabo ukuba zibe ngabantu abadala. Ingxenye yalo mthwalo wemfanelo isiza ingane yakho ukuba ifunde ukwenza izinqumo zocansi eziphephile nezihlakaniphile.